Valid concern but definitely not an either/or choice! Thinking that we have to choose between personal development and the health of our marriage is a false dichotomy. Everyone’s circumstances are going to be different. I’m not trying to prescribe a generic one-size-fits-all plan. My main goal in writing this piece was about finding ways to set up structures that flow and feed. I wanted to share about what that looks like for me in this season of my life.
These structures will be unique to everyone’s life and circumstances. If a particular rhythm is causing deterioration in a relationship, then it isn’t flowing and feeding.
Some rhythms work for one season and not others. Life is always dynamic and changing.
Personalities play a big role in creating these structures as well. What works for two people in a relationship could be destructive in another.
I think it is great that you recognize the importance of your evenings together and have made space for that.
The best we can do is pay attention and keep making adjustments to our rhythms as the seasons change!